not yearning but something adjacent

sun mars synastry is a very real thing

I really thought I was through with yearning, thought I was over it

I have romantic love in my life, it’s steady and correct

but no one has rattled my bones in a while

.

pining wasn’t my reality, it didn’t resonate, and I mean it still doesn’t

but I met this femme, a sagittarius mars, and damn

she has me stir crazy

.

so I meet this girl, we go get quesadillas, I teach her bachata in the cantina, drive her around, show her the frame in my room about loving black women

foreplay is a push up contest and comparing our biceps, aftercare is wrestling and strength competitions

she’s a type A kind of girlie, uses an excel chart for nonacademic things, a little mean, bossy, so so stubborn, and overconfident

everything is a contest

god

she’s an overconfident capricorn venus who likes looking at herself in the mirror and I like that

she says she’s always right, and I’ll let her be right after a bit of back and forth

.

she affirms my masculinity and wants a good masc in her life

I tell her I’m only 22

but damn I cannot stop thinking about her and I don’t know the last time I couldn’t stop thinking about some girl

is this even crushing, it isn’t

but whatever it is, it’s red, hot, and fiery, burning

she might as well be a fire sign [she isn’t]

.

she might be a storm, I think I’m cooked —

I’m not locked in, I’m not on my zoom, I’m storm chasing, distracted, unfocused, it’s not looking good

but I’m resilient

and I’m in my twenties, this is what my twenties are for

.

I told my libra lover that I met a girl who’s rattling my bones, and I’m scared

but I feel I’ve grown in the way I approach romantic relationships

that I’m more available and leaning more secure these days

anyways, I will continue to come true

in truth from your favorite pocketmasc,

louiseintheskywithdiamonds